I’m being brave

When I was a kid, I was a lot more fearless than I am now. I’ve always been super emotional, so I would get embarrassed about the same as I do now. But I feel like I had more confidence in myself than I do now. I had a more definite idea of who I thought I was and who I was going to become. I had a life plan (right now I don’t even have a “pl..” name that show!). I was going to go through school and get a 4.0, graduate valedictorian, get a full ride scholarship to Harvard or Yale or something like that and become a doctor or a lawyer or something super prestigious. I truly thought I was great at anything I tried. I thought I was the best student, the best violinist, the best girl who could keep up with the boys at recess. I know I sound like a cocky brat, and maybe I was sometimes, but man oh man was I confident. I thought I could take the world by storm and that it would be a breeze.

Then I grew up. Things were hard. I failed at things I tried and there were people who were quite a bit better at them than me. I did excel in school but I wasn’tΒ Valedictorian. I did get scholarships, but the one I ended up using wasn’t a full ride and it definitely wasn’t to an Ivy League (though I LOVE my alma mater!!!!). Now I am working and my job isn’t super prestigious. I’ve experienced and learned from disappointment and loss.

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Now I’m far from being an adventure girl, though I do like my rush of adrenaline now and then. Who doesn’t?! I like things to be comfortable. I like knowing what’s going to happen. I don’t like the unknown. I think all of these feelings are felt by everyone, at least every now and then. Something that I have been learning though is when things are too comfortable and it’s time for change. And so long as I feel like I’ve got my Heavenly Father backing me up, I’m not afraid to take that plunge and to make that change.

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In two months, I will be quitting my job and leaving the place where I have lived for the last 6 years. It’s the only place I’ve lived as an adult and it’s where I have learned, loved, grown, and expanded more than anywhere else in my life. I’m moving to a different city a couple of hours away and starting fresh. It’s scary to leave a place that I love so much. It’s hard to explain my reasoning for leaving. I have a good job with people I love and respect, I have a great home and roommates, and I’m pretty sure my valley is in the top 10 prettiest places ever. For me this all comes down to growth. I feel like where I’m at in my life, with the things that I want and the dreams I would like to pursue, I need to make a change in order for other changes to happen. If I stay here, I’ll be comfortable but I won’t be able to progress like I need to. I recognize this and as I see people around me leaving, growing and pursuing their dreams, it frustrates me to no end to still be where I’m at.

So here I go. I jumping in. Not without significant heartbreak and many tears. Not without fear and so many prayers that this will all turn out ok. Because right now, I have no plan. No job. No apartment. No idea what’s going to happen to me. But I know I’m doing what I need to be doing. I feel so much peace about it. I would do this if I didn’t feel it was 100% the right thing for me to do.

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I think in a way running has prepared me for these experiences. The first time I signed up for a half marathon, I didn’t know if I could do it. I had to push myself and training harder and longer than I ever had before. Then after a couple, I was still convinced that was as far as I would ever go. Then in February, after my 3rd half, I realized 13.1 miles wasn’t going to cut it anymore. Not all of the time. So now I find myself signed up for a marathon in less than 3 months. It’s new, it’s scary and it’s something I’ve never done before. But it’s what I needed to do in order to progress as a runner.

I love when lessons learned from running cross over to life. Because as all of us runners know, running IS life. So here I go. I’m being brave and I’m making big changes. Here comes a wild ride.

Have you made any big changes recently?

How did you handle a big life change? (advice would be appreciated) πŸ™‚

Do you consider yourself to be brave?

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27 thoughts on “I’m being brave

  1. :hugs:

    No recent big changes, but I’m a big change person. Like, six years ago, I left my job, and we picked up, bought a house in a town to which we had no connections (Mr PugRunner has his own business so he can work from anywhere), just because of the awesome school system and lower cost of living. We didn’t know anyone, and now, we have some of the best friends ever and I am so happy we did it.

    I handle it as an adventure. For some reason, as long as I am in control of the circumstances, I’m fine with changes like this. I think it’s normal to be apprehensive and sad, but just think of all the awesome new things you’re going to see and do and experience.

    I don’t know if I’m brave. I’m impulsive sometimes, and maybe a little reckless, but that’s not the same thing.

  2. Good for you! The hardest thing has got to be picking up and starting fresh somewhere. I love that running has helped to prepare you for taking risks and seeking what you want in life.

    Do you know where you’re heading and what you want to do?

  3. I moved away from my family to a state where I knew no one. It was one of the scariest things I’d ever done, but it ended up being one of the best decisions of my life. If you feel at peace about it, I know God is going before you. It’s going to be awesome! Good for you being brave. And a marathon! WOO! You’re going to rock it!

  4. Absolutely loved this post. I already tweeted you (because I was that excited) but I moved from WI to NC in one day back in 2010 with only the stuff I could fit in my car. No friends, no job, nada… best move I have EVER made. Hello- I met the Popeye to my Olive! Can’t wait to hear more about your experience. Xo

  5. I moved from Knoxville, TN to Las Vegas, NV last August. Quite possibly the scariest thing I’ve ever done! My husband initially moved with me, but had to move back to Tennessee for work. I found myself alone in this very strange city. Finding places to run was key to my sanity. I also joined a hiking group on meetup.com that has been a real sanity saver. The one thing that would have been super helpful would be to hook up with the local fitness blogging community, but I’ve had a difficult time finding much if that in this town. I hope you have better luck!

    Living here by myself has forced me to get out of my comfort zone, meet new people, and try new activities. It has been an incredible experience andi hope you have the same (or better) experience with your move!

  6. This is so brave and exciting! I am in the ‘getting ready to leap stage’ and trying to decide where we are leaping to πŸ™‚ I am so excited to read about your adventure!

  7. I wish I were more brave. I don’t want fear to hold me back from doing the things I really want to do. However, I have never regretted jumping out of my comfort zone. It will be hard, but it will be good. I’m so excited to hear all about it.

  8. I can totally relate when you said running helped you cope with changes. πŸ™‚
    My biggest challenge was when I moved here in the US. It’s a complete life changing, new environment, new people, new everything! But with that move comes new things, experiences and adventure. I only started running when I moved here 3 years ago and that really helped me a lot emotionally. It taught me how to deal with changes, to see them as “adventure”. πŸ™‚

  9. I moved from Sweden to USA to study theatre. Atm I’m back for summerbreak, going back in six weeks. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made. It was scary as hell, moving to the other side of the planet. I had high expectations and was afraid that everything would just turn out to be awful. But it’s been even better than I could even imagine. I’m living my dream over there. It’s over in December though, and it’s going to be hard to accept that I won’t live there anymore.
    But life goes on. My soul is screaming for adventure. I’ve no idea what I want to work with (or, well, I do, I just don’t know how to get there), so I might as well have fun while finding out.
    I’ve decided to move to Norway in January and stay for six months, then I’m moving to England next fall.
    One thing I know is that I don’t want to feel entirely safe. I don’t want to make the safe choices. Either it turns out being awful, a life lesson, a mistake to learn from or it could be amazing! You either take a risk doing something, or you take a risk doing nothing. And I’d rather do something than nothing!
    Keep on being brave πŸ™‚
    – Natalie

  10. Pingback: a wedding and a new hair do | see this girl run

  11. You. Will. Be. Ok.
    I was 36 years old sobbing in my parents’ family room at midnight before leaving for AZ with my boys to meet my husband and start our life there. Sobbing is crying to me. I wasn’t just crying… I could. not. stop. crying. That’s different. I considered not going.
    My move has been the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Maybe that will happen to you!!!! Email for support if you need it!!

  12. i feel like i could’ve written this myself. i was the exact same way having to be perfect and getting everything that i thought i deserved. i am so excited for your new journey! i have pretty big changes with a wedding coming up, but i know it will be the best.. and i bet your new job will be the best, too

  13. Mija, if you want to explore job/school/life options here in the Pacific Northwest, you know you can crash with us for as long as you need.

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