Forget and Look

Last night, I went to my weekly religion class that I attend. It’s always an uplifting experience for me and I look forward to it every week. During the lesson, the teacher said something that struck a chord with me and that I wanted to share with you today.

He said “Forget about what didn’t happen and look to the future.”

I think so often we get upset about things that have happened in our lives but I think the things that didn’t happen haunt us more. This applies to so many aspects of life.

I didn’t get into that school I’ve been dreaming of for years.

I didn’t get the grade I wanted to get.

I didn’t eat well the last couple of days.

It didn’t end up working out with that person I was dating.

I didn’t get that job I was perfect for.

I didn’t get that promotion I deserved.

I didn’t workout yesterday and now I feel behind.

I didn’t PR in that race after all that hard work.

Every day I talk to participants in our wellness programs who are working toward different goals. When I ask them about how their goals have been coming along since we last spoke with them, a common answer is something like “Well this goal went ok, but I didn’t do well at that other goal”. I feel like that is a nice little summary of how life is in general. Some days we do really well and like what we’re doing and other days we know we could have done better.

269c9699cbb8f9e7970c900acb12480d

So should we do? “Forget what didn’t happen”. Regret, doubt, and hanging on to something that is now passed are not the healthiest ways to deal with disappointment. Learning to let go (something I am still working on) is sooo important to maintain peace and happiness in our lives! When we hold on to something, even the wish that something hadΒ happened, it only hurts us and keeps us from doing the next step in the process.

e2d2214fc1a1fc86e3b06f1bdc355e90

“Look to the future”. Where there have been opportunities missed or decisions made that didn’t end up turning out the way we wanted them to, there’s always the opportunity for growth and progression. Without these experiences, we wouldn’t be as strong, determined, educated and amazing as we are today. So something you wanted to happen didn’t happen. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?! Are you going to sulk around butt hurt or are you going to use this opportunity to rise from the ashes, better than ever and try again? Please oh please, choose the latter.

Just because you missed your workout, doesn’t mean you will be ill prepared for your upcoming event. Just because you didn’t get that job, doesn’t mean you’ll never find a job you love. Just because you didn’t get that scholarship, doesn’t mean you can’t find another way to attend your dream school.

The future is pure. It hasn’t happened yet. It has so much potential and possibility. Don’t taint it already by giving up and taking those opportunities away from yourself.

ab3e415e0a9ffccac6e96c50b0fe66fc

This is something that from what I can tell (and I could be wrong) most of us could work on, or at least need reminding from time to time. Disappointments and poor choices are part of life. But we can’t let them dictate our lives. We need the motivation to get back on the horse, try harder, do the necessary work, and look to a brighter future where we are successful in our endeavors. Because if you keep it up, I know you can do hard things.

Discussion Time:

What are some ways you let go of disappointments?

What do you to do look to the future?

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “Forget and Look

  1. I totally agree. I tell my husband this all the time – he always seems too focus on the negative part of what is or isn’t happening and I tell him to focus on the positive part. It’s a much happier way to live if you see the good in things.

  2. That was truly a beautiful post–thank you, I needed to read that this morning as I sit here about to begin my day. The tension is thick between my husband and I as we sit side by side eating breakfast and not uttering a word! I feel as though when I try to change and fight hard to become the woman that I have become and am becoming, I get a great deal of resistance from him and from others. He is a wonderful man and I believe it is wholly subconscious. Do you ever find that when you make changes in how/who you are, others are uncomfortable?

    I love your blog!

    • Thank you so much! I definitely believe that when you are working toward something that is good and right and positive, that there will always be forces of opposition working against you. That’s just how the world works. There is opposition in all things. Especially when it’s people close to us that you know don’t mean to go against you, I think it’s just a matter of communication. But if what you’re becoming is a better person, then I think that’s wonderful and I congratulate you for your success, even in the face of resistance. I also love Marinda’s comment above addressing this. Good luck my friend!

  3. Love this πŸ™‚ I learned this the hard way last year, but I’m trying to take everything in stride and remember that something good is always going to come out of something that didn’t happen. Life wasn’t meant to be planned out 100%, so I’m trying to look at the fun of not knowing.

    • Yeah I’m starting to learn that you can make plans, but they have to be flexible because life never turns out just the way you plan or want it to. But sometimes it’s better that way πŸ™‚

  4. How is it that you are so wise in your young years?! πŸ™‚ I struggle with this everyday, today being no exception. I also can identify with the comment above about others around us being uncomfortable with our change. Sometimes I think it’s a subconscious jealousy that you are trying to become a better person and they see that but aren’t there themselves. Other times I think it’s just a lack of understanding. A lot of people are complacent and okay with that. It’s hard for them to understand someone who constantly wants to better themselves. One thing that helps me to stay focused on the future is accountability. Seems weird, but once I can acknowledge that I have made mistakes or disappointed myself or others, I seem to finally stop putting energy into running away from them and put that energy towards moving forward from them. Thank you for this post!!

    • hahaha oh I don’t know how wise I am πŸ™‚ and I definitely struggle with this too. There are some things I’m still working very hard to let go of and it’s hard, but I don’t want to carry them with me forever. I love your comments! You’re very wise yourself. I think a lack of understanding is the cause of so many problems in life and relationships. I also love your comment about putting your energy into moving forward rather than into the problem. Well said.

  5. I’m always hung up on things that happened/didn’t happen in the past. I’ve been trying to get better at it! One of my favorite mottos is “Live life with no regrets” and I try to think of that whenever I get too hung up on something! Thanks for posting!

  6. Great post! I’m guilty of dwelling on things that don’t happen sometimes which can stop me from looking ahead. This is a great reminder to not live in the past πŸ™‚

  7. This really struck a cord with me. I am dealing with some thoughts on things that didn’t happen before, and I really need to let them go and just work on the now! I am missing out on things by wondering about the past.

Please feel free to leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s